Shadow Radio!
by Silvertail
Summary: My attempt at silliness. The cast of SR (and a few new ones) have a radio show. Please R/R for questions and book review!
1. Default Chapter

Shadow Raiders Radio Show!  
  
Written by Silvertail. All characters property of Mainframe Entertainment with the exception of Mary Anne and Linne.  
  
(Music plays)  
  
Mary Anne: Hello, and welcome to our radio show!  
Pyrus: Yeah, this show is for all our fans who miss our last show!  
Zera: We talk about stuff.  
Graveheart: You'll notice we have a few new characters here- and some old ones too.   
Linne: You won't often see Jade here, sadly.  
Pyrus: She thought it was stupid. But don't worry, Jade fans! Next week she'll be a guest on our show.  
Graveheart: Our new characters are Mary Anne. She's Pyrus' girlfriend or something.  
Mary Anne: Yes, I know I don't have a "fire" name. So sue me.  
Graveheart: And apparently Linne is Cryos' long lost younger sister.  
Linne: I wasn't "lost"; I just couldn't find my way home.  
Pyrus: Anyway, we have a very special guest today.  
Linne: Sternum?  
Graveheart: Tekla?  
Pyrus: No, this week we're meeting someone new.  
Zera: Who? Who?  
Mary Anne: Please welcome Silvertail!  
Silvertail: Hi, everyone. (Waves)  
Linne: Um, it's radio. No one can see you wave.  
Silvertail: (embarrassed) Oh. Where's Sternum? He's my favourite!  
Zera: He'll be a guest here in a couple of weeks.  
Silvertail: Oh.  
Mary Anne: Ok, let's start the show!  
Graveheart: First question, Silvertail.  
Silvertail: Shoot.  
All: Um… (try to think of a question)  
Linne: I've got it! What do you think of our radio show?  
Silvertail: Well, I've only been on it a couple of minutes. It's okay.  
Zera: I like cornflakes.  
All: ??  
Mary Anne: That's interesting. Let's take a commercial break.  
(Music plays.) (two minutes later, it plays again.)  
Pyrus: Welcome back to our show. So Silvertail, how did you decide to write about a Shadow Raiders radio show?  
Silvertail: Well, I was sleeping in one morning, trying to think of reasons not to go to school and this came up. My mom made me go to school anyway though.  
Zera: Rice Krispies are nice too.  
Linne: Do you have a steady boyfriend?  
Silvertail: (annoyed) Oh, yes! I have a steady boyfriend. That's why I spend every night writing fics to post on the net!   
Graveheart: Ouch.  
Silvertail: Ok, now it's my turn. I want to ask you guys some questions. My first question's for Graveheart.  
Graveheart: Ok…  
Silvertail: What's with you and Jade?  
Graveheart: Um…we're friends.  
All: (start laughing)  
Silvertail: My next questions for Zera. What's with you and the cereal?  
Zera: Oh, well, a couple of weeks ago I discovered if you're a popular character, the company gives you a big check just for saying you like their product! In fact, I got $5,000 during the commercial break! By the way, my favourite lollipop is Chupa Chups.  
Pyrus: Knock it off!  
Silvertail: My next question is for Linne.   
Linne: Yay!  
Silvertail: Here it is. Who the heck are you?  
Linne: You created me! You should know.  
Silvertail: Yeah, but I'm still confused.  
(bell rings)  
Linne: Hey! Do you know what time it is?  
Zera: It's 4:56.  
Pyrus: No, it's time for our book review.  
Graveheart: This gives us an intellectual feel.   
Pyrus: This week we're reviewing Dancing in the Dark.  
Zera: WHAT?? I thought we were doing Dances with Wolves!  
Linne: You read Dances with Wolves?  
Zera: (crying) No, I sat through the entire movie!  
All: Oh no, poor Zera, etc…  
Pyrus: Well, anyway, Graveheart, what did you think of Dancing in the Dark?  
Zera: It was about six hours long…  
Graveheart: In the Dark, Zera.  
Pyrus: Well?  
Graveheart: Um…It was okay.   
Pyrus: What was the best part?  
Graveheart: Well, I guess when they were…um…dancing…in the dark.  
Linne: Oh yeah, that was my favourite part, too!  
All: (assert it as their fave part)  
Pyrus: (annoyed) Did anyone read the book?  
Silvertail: Did you?  
Pyrus: WHAT?? I have to run a radio show, rule a planet, AND read a novel once a week?  
Mary Anne: What are you talking about, running the show? I'm the hostess!  
Pyrus: Yeah, right.  
Mary Anne: I introduced it.  
Zera: Well, I'm bringing in all the money!  
Silvertail: Well none of you would be doing it at all if I hadn't made the fic!  
(Music plays as they all bicker)  
Graveheart: Well, that was our show. If you liked it, and/or you want to ask the Shadow Raiders characters a question to answer or want a book or story reviewed, mail (review) us.  
Linne: Yes, stay tuned next week for our very special surprise guest!  
Zera: We already told them who it was.  
Linne: Um…well…whatever.  
  
END TRANSMISSION  
  
Hi, thanks for reading my bit of silliness. Like Graveheart said, if you want a book reviewed, or a question answered by the SR cast (they'll all be on as guests sooner or later) please review. Next time Jade'll be here if you want to ask her something. I'm still working on my Disney fics, this is entertainment for me. Also, please do not ask why I stuck new characters in here. They come from fics I've written in my head about life after the Beast. The original characters are still the same. :) -Silvertail 


	2. Episode 2!

Shadow Radio Show 2  
  
(music plays)   
Pyrus: Hello, welcome to our second show ever!  
Mary Anne: We have a very special guest today.  
Linne: Yes, Graveheart's bringing her in as we speak.  
Silvertail: Guess what guys! We have some questions that were asked!   
All: Yeah!  
(struggling noises, a lot of yelling)  
Zera: Hey, it's Jade!  
Pyrus: Welcome to our show, Jade.  
Jade: I'll get you for dis, Graveheart!   
Graveheart: C'mon, it'll be fun.  
Linne: Yeah, just enjoy yourself.  
Jade: Who are you?  
Linne: Never mind.  
Silvertail: All right, we have a few questions. They were asked by Muffy.  
All: Who?  
Silvertail: Someone who listened and mailed.  
All: Oh, cool.  
Zera: Hooray for Cheese Whiz!  
Pyrus: Knock it off!  
Zera: Hee hee…  
Silvertail: Alright, the first question is for Zera and Pyrus.  
Zera: Ask away.  
Silvertail: (reading) Zera & Pyrus: Can you guys touch without getting melted/extinguished?  
Zera: Yes, we would know, wouldn't we?  
Pyrus: Actually we don't.   
Zera: It's not like we can't keep our hands off each other or anything.  
Mary Anne: Time for an experiment!  
Pyrus: Hey! Mary A-  
(THUD)  
Zera: (muffled) Hey! Get him off me!  
Graveheart: Apparently they can. Thanks for asking.  
Jade: Didn't Pyrus grab Zera in the first episode he was in? You know, when she fell off the bridge.  
Pyrus&Zera: Oh, thanks for saying that NOW!  
Silvertail: The next question is for Jade and Graveheart.  
Jade: I'm not answerin' no questions!  
Silvertail: (reading) Jade/Graveheart: Exactly what happened in "the tunnel?"   
Jade: WHAT??  
Graveheart: Um…  
Zera: They're blushing!  
Jade: Graveheart, who have you been talking to?  
Silvertail: Give her an answer, guys.  
Both: (grumble)  
Graveheart: Um…we were just…um…you know.   
Jade: Yeah.  
Linne: Good answer, guys.  
Pyrus: C'mon!  
Jade: Well, we were…um…rehearsing a play!  
Graveheart: Yeah!   
All: (laugh)  
Silvertail: I guess that'll do…until we bring Tekla in, I know you told her, Jade!  
Graveheart: WHAT??   
Silvertail: Our next question…um…I guess it's addressed to me. It says, "And since when did Pyrus have a girlfriend?"  
Pyrus: What? I don't have a girlfriend.  
Mary Anne: Hey! Silvertail is making us go together, remember?  
Pyrus: Oh yeah…sorry. (acting) Gee, I can't imagine life before Mary Anne mysteriously dropped into the Alliance's timeline.  
Mary Anne: (acting) Wow, I'm sure glad Silvertail created me for the sole purpose of dating Pyrus.  
Silvertail: You'd better be (laughs wickedly) …And if you're asking when she joined, it was after the war. She's my fanfic character, and there's a reason in the story and real life behind her name. Now I feel embarrassed! I'm gonna call a commercial break.  
(music plays. After two minutes of annoying jingles and yammering ads, it plays again.)  
Silvertail: All right. Everything is all wrapped up as for questions until next week.   
All: (disappointed) Ohhh…  
Zera: Hey! I didn't get a question.   
Linne: Maybe next time.  
Zera: Silvertail didn't even give me a boyfriend.   
Silvertail: Actually I did, I just didn't put him in the show.  
(bell dings)  
Mary Anne: Hooray! It's time for our book review!  
Graveheart: This week we've been asked to review Artemis Fowl.  
Linne: Who?  
Pyrus: It's that cat from Sailor Moon, also a greek goddess.  
Zera: In any case we reviewed it.  
Silvertail: No easy feat, considering I've never heard of it, let alone read it.  
Jade: So review it so we can get out of here already!  
Pyrus: Okay. It was written by Eoin Colfer.  
Zera: Eoin?  
Silvertail: Yes, Eoin Colfer.  
Graveheart: Okay.  
Silvertail: Okay, has anyone here read it?  
Linne: I went to a site!  
Pyrus: It's called a BOOK, people. You pick it up, read it, REVIEW it.  
Linne: Here's the blurb from the site. (reading) "Who is Artemis Fowl?  
  
A genius.  
A criminal Mastermind.  
A millionare.  
  
And he is only twelve years old.  
  
From a strikingly original new voice in fiction comes the story of Artemis Fowl, a very unusual hero. Artemis combines the astuteness of Sherlock Holmes with the sangfroid of James Bond and the attitude of Attila the Hun. But even Artemis doesn't know what he's taken on when he kidnaps a fairy, Captain Holly Short of the LEPrecon Unit. These aren't the fairies of bedtime stories. These fairies are armed and they're dangerous. Artemis thinks he's got them just where he wants them, but then they stop playing by the rules..."  
  
Silvertail: Well, what do you all think?  
Zera: Sounds good.  
Linne: "The attitude of Attila the Hun?"  
Graveheart: I think it's an interesting description, comparing him to Sherlock Holmes, James Bond and Attila the Hun. Now there's a mix.  
Pyrus: Well, I think it sounds good.  
Jade: I think it's a waste of time.  
Silvertail: Well, I'm going to read it next time I go to the library. Then we can all have a real review.  
Zera: My favourite quote was "These fairies are armed and they're dangerous."  
Linne: Yes, that was cool. I can see little fairies flying around with firearms…  
(Music plays)  
Silvertail: Oops! We're all out of time! Join us next week when we have Tekla on the show, that will be very cool. Remember to mail (review us) and give us questions and suggestions for book reviews!  
Zera: And don't forget to eat lots and lots of Raisin Bran! It's soo yummy…  
Linne: Also we'll hopefully review a book that Silvertail has read!  
Silvertail: Hey, I've read lots of books! Really!   
  
END TRANSMISSION  
  
  
Well, I'm having fun writing these, so please review and ask questions and suggest books so I can continue. By the way, I did look for Artemis Fowl and was unable to find it. I'll read it as soon as it's available, because that blurb made it sound pretty good. :D 


	3. Episode 3!

Shadow Radio Episode 3 April 23, 2002  
By Silvertail  
  
(music plays)  
Silvertail: Hey, it's our third episode!  
All: Yay.  
Linne: Today we have a special guest. Say hello to Tekla!  
All: Hi, Tekla!  
Tekla: Hello, everyone. I do not even know who some of you are.  
Zera: Don't worry about it.  
Silvertail: So, what's new with you all?  
Graveheart: Well…nothing much.  
Mary Anne: I'm reading that Artemis Fowl!  
Pyrus: Is it any good?  
Mary Anne: Well, I guess so…  
Silvertail: So Tekla, how do you like the show?  
Tekla: It is very nice.  
Silvertail: You know what I just discovered? Your name is really hard to type!  
Tekla: I am sorry?  
Silvertail: You know. It takes some fancy fingerwork. I keep spelling it "Telka". One time I spelled it "Tekal".  
Tekla: Is this girl mad?  
Linne: You get used to it.   
Tekla: Who are you?  
Linne: You don't know me yet, but I show up in a fic Silvertail hasn't written yet.  
Tekla: Oh.  
Silvertail: Ok, enough chitchat. Let's go to the questions for this week!  
Zera: Ooh, who asked them this time?  
Mary Anne: Muffy.  
Pyrus: No one else wrote?  
Silvertail: No. Anyway, she had some questions but she also had a special comment for you, Mary Anne!  
Mary Anne: Neat!  
Silvertail: Here it is. (reading) MARY-SUE! MARY-SUE! DIE! DIE! Oh...no wait...not Mary-sue...CLOSE ENOUGH! DIE DIE DIE!   
Mary Anne: WHAT??  
Zera: Silly Muffy! It's Mary Anne, not Mary-Sue!  
Pyrus: I bet her face is red!  
Mary Anne: Um, I feel kind of worried. Should I hire a bodyguard or something?  
Tekla: I think I want to hear those other questions.  
Silvertail: Good idea! Here's a question for you, Tekla!  
Tekla: I am honoured.  
Silvertail: (reading) Tekla, how where you able to cry, seeing how'd you're a cyborg chick and all...and will you live forever, seeings how you're a machine?   
Linne: You're a machine, Tekla?  
Zera: Who built you?  
Tekla: Well, as to the first question, being a cyborg does not mean I do not have feelings. Cyborgs have the proper parts to allow crying.  
Silvertail: Yes, she's not Robocop.  
Tekla: Although we may be cyborg people, we are just like you others, with family and friends…until the Beast came along.  
Mary Anne: Aww…that's so sad.  
Pyrus: Really, machine or not, if your entire planet was devoured, wouldn't you cry?  
Tekla: Is that another question?  
Zera: I think he's talking to Muffy.  
Graveheart: Don't forget about the machine part.  
Tekla: Oh yes. Well, I do not think I will live forever, especially if I am damaged so badly I go off-line permanently. That will be death.  
All: Ooh…  
Silvertail: What about otherwise?  
Tekla: I think I would live longer than all of you, but I have no idea as to immortality. Actually, no one from Tek ever had the chance to find out.  
Mary Anne: (sniff)  
Linne: That is so sad. (sob)  
Silvertail: Well, on with the letter. (reading) I wanna see Zera's boyfriend! and how old is everyone?  
Zera: Wow! I have a boyfriend?  
Silvertail: Well, kind of. I'll write him into something someday.  
Zera: Please write him in? I need a date for this party…  
Silvertail: Fine.  
Zera: Ooh, make him really nice in-  
Graveheart: Zera, cut it out.  
Tekla: How old is everyone? That's hard to answer.  
Graveheart: Yea. Ok, this is hard to answer. See, we're all from different planets so we measure time differently.  
Linne: That sounds like something contrived that Silvertail would come up with to avoid making up an answer.  
Silvertail: That's silly!   
All: Hmm…  
Silvertail: All right, you all say your ages in "Earth time". How's that?  
Graveheart: "Earth time"?  
Tekla: What's an Earth?  
Silvertail: Just pick a number!  
Zera: I guess I'd be around 13 or 14.   
Pyrus: I'm older, I guess. 16, 17?  
Graveheart: Sounds good. I guess I'm not that old…30? Is that too old? Too young?  
Silvertail: I have no idea.   
Mary Anne: I don't know about me.  
Zera: You don't count, you're the Mary-Sue!  
Mary Anne: Nooo! I'm 15! 15, I'm sure of it.  
Silvertail: Psst! She's not a Mary-Sue!  
Graveheart: Sorry, I'm sure she only wants the real characters.  
Mary Anne: Not fair.  
Tekla: Well, if I am immortal, I could be anywhere from 22 to any number of years old.  
Silvertail: I'll be nineteen in two months!  
Zera: Now, I know she wasn't asking about you.  
Silvertail: Let me read on. (reading) How did you get this radio show, and why? What is everyone's favourite colour?  
Linne: My, someone's full of questions.  
Mary Anne: How did we get the radio show? Well, we went down to the station and asked, "Could we have a radio show?" and the guy said, "Hey, aren't you guys from Shadow Raiders? You're all so cool! Sure, go right ahead."  
Silvertail: Or something like that.  
Graveheart: Why is a bit trickier.   
Pyrus: I guess we were all bored after we destroyed the beast and had been living in peace for a while…I mean, this is the first time we've been without wars!  
Silvertail: Psst…please don't ask me when and how!  
Zera: Hmm…My favourite colour. That would have to be blue. All my fave things are blue. Me, my father, Ice, Graveheart…  
Pyrus: I like yellow.   
Linne: Purple for me!   
Graveheart: I like green.   
Silvertail: I love blue myself…hey, Graveheart. Aren't Jade's eyes green?  
Graveheart: What does that matter?  
Tekla: I would say the colour that gives me most pleasure is pink!  
Mary Anne: Like Graveheart right now?  
Silvertail: Whew! This is a long episode! Let's go to commercial!  
(music plays. A couple of annoyingly jaunty ads play, then end.)  
Silvertail: We're back!  
Zera: Do we have any more questions?  
Linne: There's one more question. Here it is. (reading) What colour are my socks?   
Tekla: Her socks?  
Zera: What are socks?  
Graveheart: You know, I'm not sure Muffy is taking us seriously.  
Silvertail: Well, she asked, so we answered.  
Pyrus: Muffy, turn your head down to the ground and look at your feet.  
Graveheart: I think she wants us to guess.  
Zera: Like we don't have anything better to do.  
Pyrus: We do?  
Zera: Good point. I'll guess…black.  
Graveheart: Um…those blue slipper things.  
Tekla: Yellow.  
Silvertail: Striped!  
Pyrus: That's not a colour.  
Silvertail: Well, it could be some day.  
Pyrus: I don't really care what colour Muffy's socks are, but I'll guess white.  
Mary Anne: Hmm…green!   
Silvertail: I'll make a second guess and suggest formerly white, the colour of my own socks!  
All: Eew…  
Pyrus: So…let's review a book!  
Silvertail: Hey, everyone! Muffy suggested a book I've read!  
All: YAY!  
Pyrus: So this week we all read Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone!  
Zera: It was cool! It was about a boy who lives with mean people who make him sleep in a cupboard, despite the fact they have two spare bedrooms!  
Silvertail: Yes, and then Harry gets a lot of letters.  
Pyrus: A WHOLE lot of letters.  
Mary Anne: Anyway, it turns out he's a wizard! Which is pretty cool.  
Linne: Yes, and then the mean people are scared of him! They give him his own bedroom!  
All: YAY!  
Silvertail: He goes to wizard school where he's really famous and everyone loves him except for the Slytherins because they're all meanies!  
Pyrus: It was really good.  
Silvertail: In case you can't tell, I love this book!  
Zera: My favourite part is when Harry goes on the train.  
Pyrus: I liked the Dursleys.  
Tekla: I was confused by the entire book. Although I found Hagrid entertaining.  
Graveheart: Draco was pretty good.   
Pyrus: All right, so it was a great book. When is the show going to end?  
Silvertail: Well, I'm out of ideas so I'll end it here! Please review with questions or book review suggestions!  
Graveheart: Don't forget questions for the special guest.  
Mary Anne: Who's the special guest next week?  
Linne: That would be Sternum.  
Silvertail: YAY!  
Graveheart: Well, goodbye for now and *thump thump*   
Zera: Stop jumping up and down, Silvertail!  
Silvertail: Yay! Sternum! Hooray!  
Pyrus: Please tune in next week!  
Silvertail: Whee!  
(music plays)  
  
END TRANSMISSION 


	4. Episode 4!

Shadow Radio- Episode 4!  
  
  
(music plays)  
Silvertail: Hi. It's our fourth episode and this one is a very exciting one.  
Graveheart: Uh…yes.  
Silvertail: You see, our special guest is so special…  
Zera: No he isn't.  
Silvertail: Unfortunately he's not here yet.  
Pyrus: Good. Now let's get down to business.  
Silvertail: NO! NO! HE'LL BE HERE!!!  
Mary Anne: Geez…  
(door opens)  
Sternum: Hey, is this the right room?  
Graveheart: Yeah, I guess so.  
Sternum: So where's the torture machine you guys invented?  
(silence)  
Sternum: You know…to try on Femur?  
Silvertail: Oh, that. It was just a ploy to get you here.  
Sternum: Well, bye.  
Silvertail: NO! WAIT! Um…I just wanted to tell you I think you're really cool.  
Sternum: Thanks. Bye.  
Mary Anne: I don't think it'll work, Silvertail…  
Sternum: Wait…that name…it sounds familiar.  
Linne: Silvertail?  
Sternum: I know who you are! You're the one who keeps sending those creepy love letters!  
Silvertail: He remembers me! Hooray!  
Linne: You better stay.  
Sternum: Why?  
Zera: If you don't, she'll go insane.  
Sternum: All right…I'll stay. Only for a short time.  
Silvertail: Hooray!  
Pyrus: Ok, let's get to the reviews.  
Silvertail: Wait. Before we start, I would like to mention my fic "The Black Tube."  
Linne: I'm in the second chapter!  
Silvertail: I wrote chapter 2 five days ago, I just haven't gotten around to putting it up. Well, I'll think about it.  
Pyrus: Can I read the letters now?  
Zera: Go.  
Pyrus: Ok, Muffy reviewed us again.  
All: Oh no!  
Graveheart: I'm talking to you out there. Unless your name is Muffy, REVIEW US!  
Silvertail: If you did review, and we didn't answer your question, we're really sorry. That was before Muffy was so weird…  
Pyrus: Speaking of which, here are her questions!  
All: Yay…  
Pyrus: Okay, first Muffy says to Mary Anne not to bother with bodyguards because they waste cartilage.  
Mary Anne: Eep.  
Pyrus: (reading) Sternum: when you said that you were by Jade's side during the day and in your bed a night (or something like that) what exactly did you mean?  
Sternum: What?  
Graveheart: What? Jade was in your bed? I already said he was lying!  
Sternum: Maybe. Maybe not.  
Silvertail: Jealous, Graveheart?  
Graveheart: Of course not.  
Zera: He's jealous.  
Graveheart: Like Jade would be caught in his bed…  
Pyrus: Ok, next question. (reading) Zera, if you are just a BIT younger than Pyrus, why don't you take HIM to the dance (I know I would! ^_^)  
Zera: Take Pyrus to the dance? (starts laughing hysterically)  
Pyrus: What?  
Mary Anne: Pyrus can't even dance.  
Zera: I think the boyfriend Silvertail's going to make for me would be a little hurt…  
Graveheart: Isn't Pyrus supposed to be going with Mary Anne?  
Silvertail: Um…I haven't made an absolute decision on that. Actually, Mary Anne is in the third chapter of my fic!  
Mary Anne: That's so stupid! I eat too many sour candies and can't talk!  
Silvertail: Hey, if it happens to me, it'll happen to you. Not that I write Mary Anne as being me, of course. If she were a Mary-Sue, she'd be dating Sternum.  
Sternum: Um…  
Graveheart: Hey, there's an idea! Silvertail, make a character to date Sternum.  
Sternum: NO!  
Pyrus: (reading) Sternum, why were YOU chosen to be leader of the prison camp, and why didn't you just let ankey girl (Jewelia) take over? And do you feel bad that you aponded all the people that had stuck by you for years to be eaten by the Beast, whilst you resuced phsyco girl, and stood safely on the sides? And do you feel bad for trying to get rid of Graveheart, even though you knew Jade liked him? And why do you have so many chins? And why do you look so different from Femur? And how did you GET the throne, if the only way to get the bone throne was through assisination?  
Sternum: Whoa. All these questions are for me?  
Silvertail: That's right, sweetie!  
Sternum: Don't call me that! Ok, I was chosen because I'm cooler than Jewelia.  
Silvertail: Darn right…sorry.  
Sternum: I don't know what "ankey" means but who cares. No, I don't feel bad, I don't think. I'll have to figure what "aponded" means too.  
Silvertail: Ah, they were all real criminals anyway.  
Sternum: I didn't "resuce" anyone! I'm not that kind of bad guy! I only feel bad for trying to get rid of Graveheart because it wasted precious time I could have used to kill my worthless brother!  
Silvertail: Yeah, Femur! Go…somewhere else.  
Sternum: I have so many chins because...well, I work out so those chins are all muscle.  
Silvertail: Wow. How often do you work out?  
Sternum: I look different from Femur because…  
Silvertail: Hey! You're comparing Wonderful Sternum with that ugly toad?  
Pyrus: Calm down.  
Mary Anne: Let him answer.  
Sternum: Anyway, I look different from Femur because I work out, I eat right, I'm smarter and less self-centered. We aren't anything alike personally, why should we look alike?  
Silvertail: Wow! Are you sure he's really your brother? He's so uncool!  
Sternum: I GOT the throne because I was older. I thought that would be obvious…  
Who says I didn't assassinate my father?  
Silvertail: I do. You're too cool. He died of old age.  
Sternum: But-  
Silvertail: HE DIED OF OLD AGE!  
Sternum: Okay!  
Pyrus: She also has a question for us all. What colour is my hair tie?  
Zera: Another one?  
Pyrus: By the way, the answer to the sock question was that she wasn't wearing socks, because they're evil.  
Linne: Aagh, trick question.  
Silvertail: I feel like I'm in Geography class.  
Zera: For the hair tie, I'll guess red.  
Pyrus: Purple!  
Linne: Mauve!  
Graveheart: Teal!  
Sternum: Amber.  
Silvertail: I say it's…slate grey. So…what's our book review for today?  
Linne: Um…Muffy didn't suggest one.  
Silvertail: All right, we'll read my suggestion. Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, by Douglas Adams!  
Linne: I read that. It sounded kind of familiar…  
Pyrus: A bunch of creeps demolish a planet without warning. That brings back bad memories…  
Mary Anne: Lucky we were all able to hitch a ride.  
Zera: I liked Zaphod. He had two heads and three arms, and that's pretty cool.  
Graveheart: The best part was when Arthur nearly killed them all by trying to make tea.  
Silvertail: Wasn't that in a sequel? I can never remember…  
Linne: I liked Marvin! Otherwise, the story was just really weird.  
Pyrus: I hated it.  
Zera: I loved it.  
Silvertail: It was okay.  
(bell rings)  
Pyrus: Well, we're almost out of time.   
Zera: Who's our special guest next week?  
Silvertail: That would be…Sternum!  
Graveheart: He came this week, Silver.  
Silvertail: Hey, Sternum. Want to be a regular?  
Sternum: No!  
Silvertail: Darn. Ok, our real special guest next week is…King Cryos!  
Zera: Yay!  
Sternum: Well, I might come back when you have Femur on, so I can kill him. When are you going to do that?  
Silvertail: Urgh…  
Zera: Mail us questions and suggest book reviews! Bye!  
  
END TRANSMISSION 


	5. Episode 5!

Shadow Radio Episode 5!  
  
  
Silvertail: Hello and welcome to our fifth episode!  
Pyrus: Wow…our fifth already?  
Mary Anne: Yep, our fifth!   
Zera: Wow. It's been a while, hasn't it?  
Silvertail: Yes, I've had a lot of things going on lately.   
Pyrus: Yeah, us too. You know, it gets pretty hectic when you rule a planet.  
Silvertail: As for me, I've had a lot of personal things going on.   
Zera: That's kind of vague.  
Silvertail: Yes, I want to say I'm really really sorry! I've so much stuff happening…  
Graveheart: Ok, who's our guest?  
Silvertail: Darn! He must have slipped out when I turned around…  
Mary Anne: Nope, he went to get coffee…or something.  
Pyrus: Here he comes.  
Silvertail: Whew. Hi, Cryos!  
Cryos: Hello.  
Zera: Hi Daddy!  
Cryos: Hello, my daughter.  
Silvertail: You know, I think you're really cool!  
Cryos: That is an interesting choice of words.  
Silvertail: Ok, you're not as cool as our last guest but…  
Pyrus: Can we get to the questions?  
Silvertail: We better, I'm up to my ears in exam study. I have to study AND do the show at the same time.  
Graveheart: All right, you're pretty popular, Cryos! TWO people have questions for you.  
Silvertail: (flipping pages) Um, could we possibly cut those down…you know, in the interest of time?  
Pyrus: You know, we all took time out to do this show. Put away the books.   
Silvertail: Fine. If that's your attitude, I'll leave. (rustling) Just let me pick up all my books here…(drops books, they crash on floor)   
Silvertail: CRAP!!!   
Zera: Great, now we gotta raise the rating to pg just for that.  
Silvertail: Forget it. I'm gonna get something from the machine. (door slams)  
Graveheart: Okay…well, here are some of your questions.  
Cryos: Okay…  
Pyrus: These ones are from Lenai Datec. (reading) king cryos,how does it feel wearing that funny tarzan-like thing in below zero conditions?  
Cryos: Quite comfortable, really. We just love below zero conditions.  
Zera: One time it was fifty below and we went to the beach!  
Pyrus: (reading) where are all the females of planet ice? i've only ever seen Zera.  
Zera: Now that's a long story.   
Cryos: Quite embarrassing, also.  
Zera: Well, you see, Father approved this new law.  
Cryos: Zera-  
Zera: It said that in the chance of war, women had the choice to-  
Cryos: Zera!  
Zera: What is it?  
Cryos: (whispering)  
Zera: Oops. Never mind.  
Pyrus: Um…okay. Here's the next question. (reading) how the heck do you put up with graveheart and his "go get'm!" attitude?he starts to sound like an old record from time to time.  
Graveheart: What?  
Silvertail: (closes door) Wasn't Graveheart constantly losing confidence and trying to quit?   
Pyrus: Yes, "Uneasy hangs the head."  
All except Graveheart: "I'm just a miner, I'm just a miner!"  
Graveheart: Hey, knock it off!  
Cryos: I believe I know what she means. Yes, it did get annoying after a bit. However, I have a bottomless well of patience.  
Silvertail: Good line.  
Graveheart: (mutter)  
Pyrus: Lanei's last question. (reading) what colour are my nails?   
Zera: All right! It's a Muffy type question! I'm guessing blue.  
Pyrus: Teal.  
Silvertail: Smoke grey.  
Graveheart: Sandalwood.  
Cryos: Personally, I don't see what this has to do with anything.  
Zera: Just say a colour.  
Cryos: Yellow.  
Graveheart: Good for you.  
Pyrus: What about you, MA? Um…where is she?  
Silvertail: She's in the bathroom. She said that if an opinion question is asked, her answer is brick red.  
Pyrus: Here are some questions from Muffy!  
Cryos: Who?  
Zera: Someone who asked you questions.   
Cryos: All right…  
Pyrus: (reading) Where did you get the accent?   
Cryos: I received my accent when I learned to speak.  
Zera: I inherited it!  
Silvertail: I like my accent, eh?  
All: Huh?  
Pyrus: Anyway…(reading) What was Zera's mother like?  
Cryos: Oh…  
Zera: Great. (sniff) Now I'm all sad!  
Cryos: Well…my dear wife…  
Zera: Mommy…  
Silvertail: Um, can we ask another question?  
Pyrus: We'll get back to it. (reading) Did Zera have any brothers or sisters? How did Zera's mother die?   
Zera: This isn't cheering me up.  
Silvertail: Is she really dead?  
Cryos: What kind of question is that?  
Silvertail: Well, I always wondered, 'cause you know, her death is only implied in the series. I think.   
Zera: Well, she is dead. Now go away!  
Silvertail: Well, sorry…  
Cryos: Zera doesn't have any brothers and sisters.   
Silvertail: Are you sure?  
Graveheart: Shut up.  
Cryos and Zera: Thank you.  
Pyrus: (reading) Why don't you like Femur? Would you ever consider re-marrying?   
Cryos: Re-marrying Femur?  
Zera: No Father, they're two separate questions.  
Cryos: Good. Well, I don't like Femur because he is an obnoxious egotistical disgusting slimy toad.  
Silvertail: No kidding! Maybe I'll invite him on the show anyway.  
Cryos: This booth is too small to keep a safe proximity from Femur.  
Zera: You won't be here, Father.  
Cryos: Well then, never mind. To the second question, my answer is probably not.  
All: Aww…  
Cryos: However, you never know.  
All: Hooray!  
Pyrus: (reading) What do you think about Silvertail making up some boyfriend for your daughter?   
Cryos: What? When did this happen?  
Zera: Don't worry Father. I won't go out with him without your complete approval.  
Silvertail: Wink wink.  
Zera: (starts laughing) Stop doing that!   
Silvertail: No, really. He's very nice, Cryos.  
Zera: Does he have a cool ship?  
Silvertail: Of course not, nudge nudge.  
Zera: Hehehe…  
Cryos: I feel less than reassured.  
Pyrus: Here are the last questions. (reading) Do you and Zera have to take Exams?  
Silvertail: OH MY GOD! I completely forgot!  
(footsteps running, door slams)   
Pyrus: Um…OH, this is for me! Well, I do, I don't know about Zera.   
Zera: Yes, but my instructors go easy on me since Jade taught me martial arts.  
Pyrus: Last question. Muffy wants to know what her favourite animal is.  
Zera: Ice lice?  
Pyrus: Lava dogs?  
Graveheart: Rock hounds?  
Cryos: Very amusing.  
Pyrus: (opens door, yells down hall) Hey, Silvertail. Name an animal.  
Silvertail: (yelling from distance) Chinchilla!  
Graveheart: Is that an animal?  
Zera: Silvertail took me to a "Mexican restaurant" and I thought that was one of the dishes.  
Pyrus: Yum.   
Graveheart: It's time for our book review!  
All: Yay…  
Cryos: This sounds promising.  
Zera: It'll be over soon.  
Cryos: Good.  
Pyrus: Well, this week we decided to review the Discworld series, as Muffy suggested.  
Zera: We have to say they sound pretty good.  
Cryos: I'm afraid I've never heard of it.  
Graveheart: Just act like you've read it and no one will care.  
Pyrus: Here are some blurbs off the back. "On a world supported on the back of a giant turtle (sex unknown), a gleeful, explosive, wickedly eccentric expedition sets out. There's an avaricious but inept wizard, a naive tourist whose luggage moves on hundreds of dear little legs, dragons who only exist if you believe in them, and of course THE EDGE of the planet ..."  
Zera: Why one should not eat what one should be throwing out.  
Graveheart: I've got to get that luggage.  
Pyrus: Avaricious but inept wizard? It's been done.  
Cryos: It's sounds quite interesting. I wonder if this planet exports to Ice.  
Zera: I want to live on a turtle…  
Pyrus: Male or female?  
Silvertail: (comes in) Whew. Good thing it was an oral exam. Hey, what's this? Giant turtle…what the heck?  
Pyrus: It's the book you were SUPPOSED to read for the review.   
Silvertail: Oh…yeah. It's all coming back to me. Hey, the edge of the planet? I got that far in Grim Fandango! Wait, that's edge of the world. By the way, I loved it! It was so exciting and adventurous.  
Pyrus: Discworld…or Grim Fandango?  
Zera: I liked the bit about…the giant turtle!  
Graveheart: It was all good, really. Well, kind of.  
Silvertail: Well, I think I'm running out of steam here so we'll have to say goodbye for now.  
All: Awww…  
Silvertail: Exams are over in a couple of days so my next update will be up faster. By the way, we have a very very special surprise guest for next week.  
All: Who? Who?  
Silvertail: Well, there's really only one character left…  
Pyrus: Oh, you're finally going to invite…  
Silvertail: Yes! We're inviting the VIZIER! Isn't that cool?  
All: Um…  
Zera: Silvertail, there's something we have to tell you. You must have missed this episode.  
Pyrus: Remember my eulogy? He's kind of dead.  
Silvertail: What, now death is a barrier? Welcome to the future!  
Zera: I think I'll stay home next time…  
(end music)  
  
  
  
Um…yes, I didn't really use my "extra" characters this episode. Just didn't feel like it. I am going to bring the vizier over next episode so send questions for him! I have to do this, seeing as how he's cool and everything. Well, in a manner of speaking. ;) Sorry if this show seemed rushed. 


	6. Episode 6!

Shadow Radio Episode 6!   
  
  
  
(opening music)  
  
Silvertail: Well, it's Episode 6.   
Graveheart: Yes, and this is an episode wrought with many surprises.  
Pyrus: First, the bad news.  
Silvertail: Yes, this will be the last episode…at least for a while. Well, probably forever. There are many many reasons for this. I thought about listing them, then decided not to.  
Zera: Boy, all those people who say you're cruel…  
Mary Anne: Our next surprise is that today we're having TWO special guests!   
Linne: Really? Who?   
Graveheart: It's Tekla! Hey Tekla!  
Tekla: Hello, my friends! It's wonderful to be back!  
Silvertail: I invited Tekla back because some questions were asked that were never answered, and darn it, that's just darn unacceptable!  
Tekla: I am honoured.  
Silvertail: Listen, we've got a lot to do today. We're going to answer some questions, do a little soul-raising, then answer a few more questions. As a special surprise, since it's the last episode, instead of a book, we're going to review a song!  
All: Hooray!  
Pyrus: Okay, let's get to it.  
Zera: Miss Tekla. Please answer these long overdue questions for us.  
Tekla: I will try.   
Pyrus: Lenai Datec wants to know how you cry.  
Linne: This question seems strangely familiar.  
Silvertail: Well, answer it anyway.  
Tekla: Well, when I'm very sad, or when pollen gets in my eyes, they water up.  
Zera: She means as a cyborg and all.  
Tekla: Oh. Well, we have a lot of human qualities, after all. We have parents and families, also we live and die.  
Silvertail: Hmm…would you say you're more human than anything else?  
Tekla: …maybe.  
Graveheart: What else did Lanei ask?   
Linne: Oh, Lanei asked if Tekla's been an adult her whole life because she's a Tek.  
Tekla: Oh…um…now that is hard to answer.  
Zera: You like this show, don't you, Tekla? You're the only one who keeps coming willingly…  
Tekla: Well, I will have to say that for a good long time I've been an adult. Tek people live much longer than other races of people.   
Silvertail: Really? How old are you?  
Tekla: I don't need to answer that.  
Graveheart: Is that it?  
Silvertail: Yep. Now we get to raise the dead! Graveheart, get the candles. Zera, grab the chalk and draw a circle on the floor.  
Pyrus: You know, I was always for new stuff and all, but even I'm getting a little disturbed.  
Silvertail: Don't worry, it's just an act. The vizier is coming anyway, I invited him.  
Mary Anne: But…how did you…  
All: Never mind.  
Silvertail: Okay, who wants to do the honours?  
(silence)  
Silvertail: (sigh) Fine. Okay. Spirit of the Vizier, grant us your presence!  
Tekla: Well, I have enjoyed myself, but I must meet King Cryos for something very important so-  
Pyrus: Oh yeah, me too!  
Silvertail: C'mon, don't you guys want to see the vizier again? C'mon Vizier, death can't be that great!  
Vizier: What is it you want?  
Zera: Oh look! It's the vizier!  
Silvertail: Hi Viz!  
Vizier: Who are you?  
Silvertail: Viz, don't you remember me? I'm a good friend of Pyrus, I invited you to come say hi.  
Vizier: That is right.  
Pyrus: Hey, Vizier! It's…great to see you!  
Vizier: My prince! What are you doing with all this riffraff?  
Pyrus: Oh no, they're my friends! We just wanted to ask some questions.  
Vizier: What did you want to ask me?  
Linne: What was being dead like?  
Vizier: And who are you to be asking me questions?  
Linne: Hey, at least I'm alive…  
Vizier: If only I had my stick…  
Silvertail: C'mon, that's actually Muffy asking…she sends questions in sometimes.  
Pyrus: C'mon, just tell us about it.  
Vizier: Very well. I don't like it very much at all. In fact, I despise it!  
Graveheart: There's a surprise…  
Vizier: What did that rockhound say?  
Pyrus: Never mind. Go on.  
Vizier: First of all, the food is horrible. They do not serve foods of the delicious spicy heat of glorious Planet Fire. They insist on serving only sweet bland food, such as peaches and rice pudding!  
Silvertail: Yum!  
Vizier: It's horrible. Because I smashed a planet with another planet, I am on "hero status". Therefore, I am first in line at the cafeteria, the rec room and everything else. It's quite annoying.  
Zera: Gee…that sounds awful.  
Silvertail: Well, you know Vizier. Always gotta be ranting.   
Pyrus: Okay, here's another question. Basically Muffy wants to know how you feel about traditions, particularly ones that involve murder, forcing people to do stuff, and slavery.  
Vizier: We had no such traditions on Fire.  
Silvertail: Right.  
Zera: C'mon, you Fire people were always kind of bossy…  
Graveheart: C'mon, don't tell us you Fire people never threw someone into a volcano for your gods or anything…  
Pyrus: Wow, that's the most offensive thing I ever heard you say.  
Linne: You nearly did it to Jade.  
Vizier: She was believed to be a murderer!  
Silvertail: My favourite ep, by the way.  
Linne: So you're against slavery and ritual sacrifices?  
Vizier: In life, I may have been for that.  
Zera: Really…  
Vizier: However, we never did that. On the other hand, if I had, perhaps I would not be forced to eat such garbage every single day.  
Silvertail: Just for the record, I think you're really great, Viz!  
Vizier: Why should I care what you think of me?  
Silvertail: Geez…  
Zera: Are we gonna do our review now?  
Linne: I guess we better…what did you have in mind?  
Silvertail: Well, this week it's a special treat…we're gonna review a song! Here, stick in this tape, Graveheart.  
(tape is entered)  
("Music" by Madonna plays)  
Linne: Um…  
Zera: This…this is horrible!  
Silvertail: Isn't it though? I woke up to it on the radio, and it darkened my entire day.   
Graveheart: So why are you playing this garbage for us?  
Silvertail: Thought it'd be good for a laugh. C'mon, I could be playing "What it feels like for a girl,"  
Pyrus: (yelling) Someone shut it off!  
Mary Anne: We've all got our hands over our ears…  
Vizier: By the Inferno! At least there is none of THAT in the afterlife!   
Linne: The Vizier's gone!  
Silvertail: Where's Tekla?  
Zera: When the music started playing, her ears started ringing frighteningly. She had to get out before it caused permanent damage.  
Silvertail: Haha…Mars Attacks flashback!  
Pyrus: I can't believe she's enjoying this.  
(song ends)  
All: Whew!  
Zera: Okay, what was that?  
Silvertail: (innocently) What?  
Pyrus: Why are you trying to kill us?  
Silvertail: But…I'm just…I'm not…(bursts into tears)  
All: Umm…  
Silvertail: (sob) I hate you guys! Why did you have to leave? I miss you all so much…  
Graveheart: Um…there there…  
Pyrus: C'mon Silvertail. As long as we're in your heart, your stories, and numerous websites on the net, we're not truly gone.  
Zera: Why don't you buy some of the episodes on tape?  
Silvertail: (sniffle) It's only a horrible reminder of how I never taped you guys myself!  
Graveheart: Well, you weren't to know.  
Silvertail: I took you guys for granted. I thought you'd always be there…  
Zera: You know, this will probably take a while. Mary Anne, go out to the hall and get the coffee pot.   
Pyrus: I'll go get some chocolate.  
Silvertail: Thanks guys. You're my best friends.  
Graveheart: That's sweet. Pathetic, but sweet.  
Silvertail: Oh, jeez, are we still on the air? I'm so humiliated…I'm gonna end this now. Yea, we might do this later, but for now I think I need…some rest…  
(music plays)  
  
END TRANSMISSION  
Note: Well, like I said, I have a ton of reasons for not doing this for a while. My mental health actually is NOT one of them, surprisingly, but if I do put something else up here, it'll probably be because it's the middle of August and I'm bored out of my mind.   
Also, if you are a big Madonna fan or Madonna, please don't review just to yell at me. See you later! :p 


End file.
